What Season Are you In?

Hi,

I had a chance to sit down and catch up with Melonie of Fit Diva and she had a lot to say about balancing all the many roles that she plays.

“How do I manage being a wife, mom, work and enturpurnuership? Honestly this was a very hard question to unpack because, like most women majority of the time I feel like I’m failing at them all. As I grow im learning to celebrate myself more and that includes really digging deep to aknowlage I’m actually winning NOT failing at all of the hats I wear.

The best words I can use to say HOW are “FOUNDATION” AND SEASONS. I have lived to learn how to KEEP my FAITH & FAMILIES as the FOUNDATION of my roles and let everything else become important or priority over the other in its own season. I have learned how to make every role in my life work for each other in the right season. In this seasons I need my 9 to 5 to fund the vision that drives my business.

This KEEPS me super focused and determined to soak up as many tools and skills and foster good relationships from corporate America to apply to Fit Diva. Now don’t get me wrong things do fall through the cracks and some things go in lack from time to time but those times have taught me how to step back and take breaks so that I can re- assess my priorities.

When I feel like I am spinning out of control I pause and plug into my life sources. I ask for clarity from GOD and comfort from my husband and kids. These are some of the tools and concepts I apply to change the naritve of NOT being a FAILURE but a consistant SUCCESS at all of the things I have been called to do IN THEIR RIGHTFUL SEASONS”!

I can totally relate to Melonie’s message about seasons and finding balance to pursue the things God has predestined you to do!

Until next time…

You’ve Got What You Need

A local hair stylist launched a new product and advertised it on Facebook. So, I visited her booth at a vendor show and I bought a huge bottle of the product, Whisper Whip. 

The owner explained the product could do it all. It was a shampoo, a co-wash, a leave in conditioner, and a moisturizer. I used it as a moisturizer. It was light, didn’t weigh my hair down, and left it feeling great. For years, Whisper Whip was in my rotation for wash days, styling days and every day. My hair is coily, has fine strands, is low porosity and prone to tangle. Because of this I do not wear my hair down. A wash n go hairstyle would mean a life sentence of detangling and I have neither patience nor the time.

It turns out I had what I needed all along. The product was good for everything. And so, it is with our faith walk. We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. We have everything we need to reach our God given goals and the courage to use our talents. Believe the creator when He tells us he is everything, El Shaddai. Are you just relying on God in one way? You may be missing out on His love in other areas of your life. Do you think a prosperous, abundant life is for others, but not for you? I thought wash n go styles were not for my hair type. My beliefs about my hair kept me from having a fabulous hairstyle. What beliefs about yourself are keeping you from having a fabulous life? Let God into those areas; he created you and knows what you can do.

* Whisper Whip is a trademarked brand of Healthy Hair Solutions and is in no way affiliated with this blog.*
The results of my hair transformation!
The results of my transformation!

 

Start Small & Start From Home

Hi,

Calling all visionaries, entrepreneurs and inspiring entrepreneurs now is the time to pursue your dreams and walk in your true purpose. We have more down time than before so here’s the “sign” you’ve been waiting for!

There’s a lot of uncertainty when you’re starting a new business and over the years, I’ve attempted to do it all. I’ve tried catering, I made jewelry, and sled published a book the list goes on and on. I’m a single parent and to have to work full time!

I set weekly and monthly goals and every day I work towards them. Some days it’s a struggle to push myself because it can be discouraging and exhausting but if I don’t do it who will? You can’t wait around for someone to “discover” you the Bible says Faith without works is dead James 2 ( I’m paraphrasing) and the world says no pain not gain & no risk no reward! You get the point!

Some days I brainstorm ideas or research other successful businesses. In the past I didn’t have the resources to take any of my ideas to the next level.  Although, catering and jewelry design are businesses that you can run out of your home, they can also be costly when your sales are inconsistent!

Here it is… my one useful business tip: FOCUS! I wished that someone would’ve told me to focus on one type of jewelry piece, such as; bracelets. You can make different variations of bracelets without ever making the same piece twice. I can not stress the importance of sticking to one type of jewelry in the beginning, it keeps the cost and the pressure down. Regardless, of what people tell you. They’ll have you spending money, designing and taking time from your family but they’re not buying.  Now, there are always exceptions to the rule: if you have a special order, a wedding event for example, make sure you secure a deposit before purchasing additional supplies. Over time add necklaces, rings etc. Set a goal of how much money and time you can invest.

In the case of my failed attempt at catering, I’ve learned to start with something you specialize in such as sandwiches or desserts.  Again, focus on your specialty and then build your menu. You can hold tasting parties, to gage what people prefer and that’s a good way to network and market your business.

Remember, Tracie from Pretty’ N Lashed? Tracie has started her business right from home, where she can still manage her household and has no overhead expenses. Her supplies will last for months at a time. She doesn’t have much to maintain and she’s profiting! Look at the video below to check out Tracie’s in home work station.

 

Until next time…

The Beauty Of Black Women

Playing Dress Up

Most little girls play dress up and put on their mother’s heels, make up and like to feel like a princess. All our story books are filled with stories of romance. The sweet innocent princess is rescued by the handsome charming prince. As the story goes, Snow White  was under a spell and it took “true loves kiss” to wake her! As children, we think romance and beauty is what we see on tv. A fair skin young lady is seen as beautiful and women of color are portrayed as sassy.  When I was younger I remember seeing black women dancing around in videos in a very sexual way. The music was vulgar and the women appeared aggressive. Fast forward twenty something years later and not too much has changed. Black women are seen as aggressive and are unappreciated.

As a kid I thought beauty was fashion and makeup. I never considered the complexion of someone’s skin, social economic status etc as beauty. If your dress was nice and handbag was pretty I thought that that was beauty. As an adult I see beauty in everything. I see beauty in nature and in art! I want to know how other black women feel about beauty and how black women are perceived in society.  I decided to sit with Brandi Turner to get her take on beauty.

The Many Images of Black Women

As Brandi mentioned there are many different shades of black women. Which is a good thing! This idea that lighter skin black women are somehow more attractive than darker skin black women is a LIE! The lie continues to live because of how black women are portrayed in society and media. Remember the story of Snow White she was seen as sweet and innocent and needed to be rescued. She spoke softly and had fair skin. There are women that are that way, however, when you’re not why are you seen as loud, angry or obnoxious?  As black women society tends to go a step further and if we don’t take on that image we are seen as aggressive, rebellious and angry!

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I was raised by a single mother and I’m now a single parent. Obviously, no one plans to be a single parent, however, things happen.  There are fewer black women married than any other race.  Black men are more likely to date outside their race.

We’re not all single mothers there are plenty of successful black married couples. Meet Tamica Webb, she has been married to Peter for almost five years they have one son and a week ago she graduated from Columbia College and she’s’ my younger cousin!  Tamica and I sat down and talked about her perception of beauty as a black woman.

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Society plays a major role in the way we view beauty! I see beauty in everything. It’s so much more than the outer appearance of person. I’m so bored with videos, movies and all the images around us that try to push their beauty standards on to us.

You never see a full-figured women as the love interest in a movie as if full figured women aren’t being pursued! Why does the blonde have to play dumb?  Stop buying into the hype. I’m over it! I love beauty and fashion just like the next person but I buy what I like and if what I like just so happens to be on trend…well that’s even better!

Chub Rub

Spring is here and we’re exchanging our long pants for dresses, skirts and swimsuits. This is also the time of the year where we’re more likely to experience chub rub or inner thigh chafing. Chafing can occur anywhere of your body to both men women. It’s caused by working out, wearing tight clothes, moisture and friction.

women having exercise using dumbbells

I’m guilty of squeezing into a tight pant which causes my inner thighs to rub against the inside of the pant and creates friction & moisture and causes chafing.  It’s important to use lubricate and or wear something like shapeware to serve as a barrier.  I try to be consistent about applying a lubricate while wearing dresses, skirts but I forget about my pants.  I don’t have a “thigh gap” my thighs are really good friends they spend all of their time together!

Prevent chafing by…

  • Keep your commonly moist areas dry
  • Change out wet clothes immediately
  • Lubricate problem areas

You can purchase otc items like baby powder, petroleum jelly, and shapewear to protect your skin and prevent chafing. I personally use deodorant it’s convenient when and I don’t need to add another product to my shopping list. You can get a cheap sample size and leave it in your purse or bag. Be sure to clean and pat dry the area before applying your preferred product.  If you’re currently experiencing chafing you can use aloe vera, oatmeal, olive oil. essential oils etc to help sooth the discomfort.

Discolorations from chaffing…

Chafing is generally red on fairer skin and generally darker on people of color which is called hyperpigmentation. I deal with hyperpigmentation and I found a honey, lemon and sugar scrub recipe that you can use all over your body!  Lemons naturally lightens skin, the sugar is used as a exfoliate to remove dead skin and the honey is gentle for your body.

person holding a hand cream
Photo by Retha Ferguson on Pexels.com

If you need something stronger you  can use otc products like Ambi to reduce discoloration and it’s good for all skin types or contact your Dermatologist.

Lemon, honey & sugar scrub

1.5 tsp of lemon juice

2 tsp of sugar

2 tsp of honey

Until next time…