Telltale’s On Online Dating

Well I took my own advice from my older blog post Launch Out Into The deep For Love. I registered for POF or Plenty of Fish! Get it… Launch.. Out… Into… The.. Deep…POF…play on words! Ok, you get it! More importantly it’s a free site! A few years ago a co-worker told me about the site and I created an account which lasted about two hours! I met a guy that was attractive. Ok, so far so good.  He asked me what I like doing for fun? I answered with something corny and basic (corny & basic is trending) 🙂 I asked him the same question and his response was “I like to play with people”. What? Really? I closed my account right away.

 

Fast Forward…

Three years later I’m up late reading and sipping on wine, being a girl and I see a commercial for POF. I decided to give it a second chance. I’m always looking for something fun!

*Disclaimer* I personally know people who have found love of dating sites and I believe that it works. I’m not trying to discourage anyone from using a dating site.

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O.k. now the disclaimer  is out of the way I have to say that it wasn’t a bad experience overall. For the most part the guys were respectful. To be honest I didn’t take any of the conversations and or contacts seriously. The first red flag is when I saw my friend’s husband,  father of her kids, partner, boo or whatever on the site. He has a whole family at home why in the world was he on the site. Then there were a couple guys that sent messages like “I  want to worship your body”. Yep, they want worship my body!  Thanks…I guess. Then there were other guys who asked things like what do you like to do and they seemed really genuine but lived out of town! That’s not convenient at all but they were the most normal out of the bunch. I  I exchanged numbers with them and shared a few phone calls and text messages. I’m really bad  about texting. I will put the phone down and forget that I’m texting…which happened a couple times with one of the guys.

onlineDATINGI told a couple of guys to take a look at my blog! I don’t want to sound arrogant…like hey google me! LOL but it is a way to get to know someone.  I know that it’s a little lazy but it’s convenient. One of the guys who lived out of town was really interesting but I couldn’t get past his location! Which I’m not totally opposed to but realistically it wouldn’t work. He was really nice, intelligent and funny!  I think his experiences were more interesting than mine. He said that he was approached several times by individuals who are transgender.

He said that they were very attractive and he was unaware that they were trans. He explained how he was pursued and became somewhat familiar and  interested and then BAM he was hit over the head with “I’m trans”. He was introduced to a lot of technical terms pertaining to sex among other things that he couldn’t explain because it was all so new to him. I don’t know how all of that came up in a conversation on POF but I didn’t want to stick around and find out!  He felt like he had been catfished.

Dating in 2017…

Dating is different and more difficult.  I understand why some cultures arrange marriages. It really takes the hassle out of dating!  How can you discuss marriage without God? All you can do is respect others view on dating & marriage without out compromising your beliefs.

Until next time…

Is Suburban Living Overrated?

I spent two years of commuting from North Saint Louis County to Downtown St. Louis , for work . I was driving more than twenty minutes each way for work and my son’s school. The two of us were living in a 2 bedroom rental. It was a cute little 2 bedroom house.  I had the luxury of having a driveway a designated office space and the convenience of having an laundry area in the basement!  It was nice, plenty of space, but a not so great neighborhood!  We needed a change and I grew up near the Downtown area, so it didn’t take long for me to make a decision to move back to familiar territory. This journey was a little different because I was losing a lot of space and privacy. But, I decided to make the the jump and we moved  into a two bedroom apartment right in the heart of Downtown St. Louis, there is so much history and everything is right outside my door! I can walk to work, restaurants, shopping etc.

 My son’s school  is a  less than a mile from our house.  We went from our rental to sharing a 1 laundry room that serves 90 units!  Don’t get my wrong there have been sacrifices. The driveway is now a distant fantasy and I  pay for parking in an underground garage. Climbing three flights of stairs with groceries can be a challenge but also a great way to get into shape. I knew my son would be losing out on being able to go out and play in a “traditional” neighborhood but he loves it and he attends the Boys and Girls Club .  There is so much diversity in the city, culturally, racially and economically. I want him to be prepared for the real world and be able to be around people who are different from himself without compromising his convictions. He has a long life ahead of him and so do I!

Until next time…

I Found Myself Again…

Setting and obtaining goals challenges us and changes our perception on life and others around us. We live in a society where people like to survey, conclude and speculate in order to form a conclusion on who they think that we are.

Life is a personal journey. You can share the same experiences with someone and have totally different perceptions. Our culture, education, social economic status etc. shape our perceptions. Life is tough, regardless of your financial success. Let’s say while working at balancing life and family you meet someone or something that triggers an interst that you buried inside yourself.

(It could be an interest in being a musician, learning a foreign language in the country of origin or leaning to fly a plane).

This encounter immediately changed you for the better. Now you can’t stop thinking about it and you’re determined to pursue or recconect to the interst. See the thing is…this interst is such a big part of who you’re suppose to be but no one knows or just can’t remember, they’ve already formed a conclusion on how they think you are. The truth is you forgot and now are too excited to turn away. It’s like you were asleep for a long time and now you’re finally awake. I know, I know, that you have responsiblites and obligations and now you’re questioning your ablities. You want to tell people but they may not get it and then you have run the risk of feeling rejected. So you give them what they want, you give them the outdated version of yourself and you hide all the updates. The difference between now and then is, you’ve experienced some things you have some hard times and you’ve had had some really good times. Your approach is different. You can’t go back now. You’ve been revived. So now you have to…

Check out part II

Until next time…